


holding back the avalanche

by CapriciousCrab



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M, Mentions of Anxiety, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:40:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23477113
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapriciousCrab/pseuds/CapriciousCrab
Summary: He can hear Phil on the phone again with his mum, asking the same questions today as he has with each call...
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 31
Kudos: 120





	holding back the avalanche

Dan never thought time could stretch out this long. He's been answering emails for what feels like hours now, the sound of Phil's voice in the background a pleasant droning in his ears as he clicks and types and curses each fucking typo his thick fingers make. He also never thought he'd be sat here willingly clearing out his ridiculously full inbox, but boredom had finally won out over procrastination.

He can hear Phil on the phone again with his mum, asking the same questions today as he has with each call- _how's Dad, are you well, are you staying safe?_ It's a wonder Kath hasn't snapped yet but she knows her youngest son better than anyone, ever patient with his need for reassurance.

Dan also knows Phil better than anyone and understands the fear that drives him, confessed to him in whispers in the silence of their room late at night.

  
  
  


"What if they get sick, Dan? They're so far from us; I wouldn't be able to get there. And Dad is …"

He didn't have to finish his sentence for Dan to know what he meant.

  
  
  


So he eavesdrops with no remorse, listening for any signs of distress in Phil's voice and sighs in relief when the call ends with Phil laughing at something Kath had said. He turns back to his work as the sound of Phil's footsteps grows louder before coming to a stop behind him.

Phil places two tablets and Dan's water bottle on the desk before dropping a kiss to the top of Dan's head. Dan swallows them down gratefully and then there are fingers in his hair stroking gently through the tangled mess of disheveled curls, Phil's delicate fingertips scratching lightly against Dan's scalp before sliding forward to rub at his aching temples. Dan closes his eyes and leans back to rest his head against Phil's stomach where he's come to stand behind Dan's chair, letting his arms fall from his keyboard for the first time in what feels like hours.

"You look tired."

Phil's voice is soft and laced with an amused sort of sympathy, and when Dan opened his eyes, he was greeted by the sight of Phil's upside-down face staring at him. His blue eyes have lost a little of their sparkle, tiny lines of stress fanning out from the corners, and even though his head is pounding Dan can’t help but want to ease some of Phil's worries.

Dan hums and tugs Phil down for an inverted kiss and can't help but laugh out a curse when the pointy jut of Phil’s Adam's apple pokes him in the eye. “Fuck’s sake! Come here, would you?”

He waits for Phil to round the chair before scooting it back and patting his lap. Ignoring Phil’s raised eyebrow he waits, then grunts when Phil drops none too gently into his lap.

"I am tired. How can I be tired when I'm not even doing anything?" Dan moans dramatically, hoping to coax a smile onto Phil's face. It works, and the sight of Phil's lips turning up into a tiny grin fills him with that same sense of giddy triumph he first felt all those years ago when he'd made his then idol laugh.

"Hey, be nice to yourself. You've been at it for hours," Phil scolds softly.

He nestles into Dan's lap like he plans on staying awhile; his long legs dangling over the arm of the chair as he tucks himself under Dan's chin. They probably look ridiculous, two giant men crammed together on the computer chair as it squeaks in protest beneath them, and normally he'd make some kind of snarky comment about Phil being a giant man-baby while secretly loving the feel of him on his lap. But lately things haven't been normal.

Dan wraps his arms around Phil's waist and gives him a little jostle. "Hey. They're ok. They're safer on the Isle than here, remember?" He doesn't know if that's actually true, but it seems to relax Phil a bit so he tells the little white lie without shame.

"Yeah. Yeah, you're probably right." He's silent for a minute, his fingers coming up to tuck into the neckline of Dan's shirt. "Did you talk to your mum?"

"I did and they're fine."

"And did you tell Adrian to keep Colin away from people? We don't want him to get sick."

Dan can't help but laugh a little. "Phil, dogs can't get the virus, you dingus." He knows, he googled it.

"Oh, hush," Phil says. He digs his elbow into Dan's ribs lightly until Dan squirms, relenting only when Dan squawks in protest. "I just want everyone to be safe," he murmurs.

"I know, babe. I know."

His genuine concern for everyone in his circle of people is one of Phil's more admirable qualities, Dan thinks as he rests his cheek on Phil's head. It's also the biggest source of Phil's anxiety, a growing avalanche of fear that threatens to bury him beneath the weight of panic.

Well, not tonight. Not if Dan can help it.

"Come on, lazy, up you go. Time to get cozy," Dan says as he shoves at Phil until he slides off of Dan's lap.

"Rude. I _was_ cozy!" Phil pouts.

"We could be cozier, I think," Dan says as he gets up and grabs the throw from the back of the sofa. "Come on, I'll even let you pick the show."

Phil's eyes light up and Dan groans in despair.

"Phil, no…"

"Too late, Dan. The power is mine and we're watching Tiger King!"

Phil shuffles across the room in an off-beat sort of victory dance that has Dan smiling like an idiot before turning toward the kitchen.

"You and your trash shows. You've got no culture, Phil," Dan sniffs playfully.

"I don't need culture. I just need popcorn." Phil calls over his shoulder.

He makes the popcorn and settles next to Phil with a resigned sigh. Three episodes later and he's hooked on a show he had no intention of ever watching while Phil sleeps with his head pillowed on Dan's thighs. He looks down into Phil's relaxed face and feels a sense of relief, knowing that they'd kept the panic at bay a little while longer.

Dan turns back to the television and starts episode four.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> you can like or reblog [here](https://capriciouscrab.tumblr.com/post/614474712813371392/holding-back-the-avalanche-rating-g-word-count)
> 
> Come say hi!


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